Every night, before my kids head off to bed, I make sure to
play them an episode of Cory in the House. They are both well into middle age
now, and ask "father, please let us leave, I want to see the outdoors so
bad." But I hush them, and cut deeper into their legs so that they don't
have such silly demands again. Their mother once tried to make an escape, but
by golly, Cory was there at the door waiting for the harlot; snapping her neck
in one incredible motion. He stood in a pool of her blood and announced: Cory
is in the house. I cried for days at the sight. Cory had his way with me for a
fortnight, then ascended to the heavens one night before I could say goodbye.
Distraught, I bought up all the 49 cent Cory in the House DVDs at walmart and
rushed home. My favorite was the one where he spilled ink on the white house
seal.
I enjoyed the DVDs yes, for a time. But slowly, my longing
for Cory grew, and my heart could not carry the burden of my longing. I had to
become one with him. By any means necessary. I searched high and low, killing
hundreds at the disney studios set, but alas, someone finally told me
"stop you maniac, that shows been over for a decade now get out please no
more". I went home with my head held low, but on the bus, I happened to be
given a sign by the Baxter himself. A young chinese boy was sneaking through
the whitehouse as Cory, and my face lit up. I took the boys face and smashed
it, wrapping it around the metal pole and spraying blood all over his elderly
grandparents. I picked up the ds cartridge from the ground and took the bus
driver into a chokehold. I told him: "take me to gamestop, I got new plans
for Uncle Sam." I killed him as I stepped off by stuffing his face into
the money dispenser, sliding his eye in and out of his socket, with the
automated "money rejected" light beeping loudly. I smashed my face
through the DS display case and walked home.
I rammed the cartridge in immediately and my mind went
white. I felt millions of ejaculate releases at that second and my body shook violently.
The pixelated cory inquired: "you want it normal, or do you like it hard
baybeh?" He already knew my preference from the days and nights we spent
in my living room; it was a party every week to be sure.
I had forgotten about my kids and they were long dead now,
so I lay in front of my DVD player, looping the episode where his sister raven
came to visit. I hated her so much. Spending all that time with Cory, being his
own kin. It made my blood boil. I punched through the set and let the glow of
my ds carry me away into sweet oblivion. I wished to die as one with Cory. I
clutched the DS hard, kissed the screen one final time and lay down. As I type
this, I know that Cory descent to mortal form once more and say goodbye, I sit
in wait for that day. He's my man. I will wait forever.